I have been meaning to blog for a few days now, but I am depressed and I tend to not want to write when I am depressed because i don't think the world needs any more negativity in it. Nor do I think it appropriate to wander around bemoaning my life not being fair when there are people who can't ever have enough food to eat. However I do feel like my life is unfair and I am stuck right now, and it is not a happy feeling at all.
Also my favorite pleco "Manny" has gone missing and I am baffled as to where he could be. I looked behind the aquarium fearing the worst, not there, I looked IN both filters, not there, I looked in every cave (maybe is is guarding more eggs) nope, not there. So then I thought maybe I moved him to another aquarium to give him a break from his daddy duties, but I can not find him anywhere. Which actually adds to my depression. I know he is just a fish but he was my favorite fish, all adorable and stout and bristle nosed. Speaking of plecos, the babies are doing fabulously and are growing every day. I am aiming to get my fish tubs up and going by the middle of may.
I am so behind on everything, and the depression is just making it worse. My garden in non-existant, my fish tubs still are MIA, the house is a disaster, ick. If i had health insurance this would be the point in time where I go in and get anti depressants to help me get through this slump. I don't though, so I will just keep muddling on.
I took some pictures of the fish (or tried) my camera still is not working well at all, so I am rather disappointed with the quality of them (I HATE THINGS OUT OF FOCUS.) I need a new camera with manual focus, yes need is the absolute correct word.
I want to be well on my way to a career by 30, I want to not have to struggle so much, have my own place, enjoy my life, just easy things like that. What I really would like to do is be a pet photographer, and there can be money in that field, but there can be money in any field. I make money off my fish, but it wont keep me fed. I have two friends who are photographers who say go for it, but they have not seen my photographs *laughs* I think even doing image retouching would make me fairly happy if I had some one to teach me. Point being I need a career where I can still have the freedom to make my own schedule.
Being how I am some days I need 12 hours of sleep (ug. does that make me sound lazy, I swear to you I am not!) and other days I can work for 15 hours straight, it just depends on... I'm not sure what, but on something I obviously can't control. Working with animals is exhausting, but I love it. I didn't really love working at the dog daycare, I worked at, I loved the daycare aspect of it, especially walking dogs, that was the best therapy I could have ever asked for, but I hated the part where I needed to clean with horrible chemicals and bust my butt to try to keep up because I was old.
I think in general I want to work with animals, I would happily be a dog walker, pet photographer, pet sitter, dog groomer. I would be open to the idea of training too, but not in a class setting, it would have to be one on one unless the doggy parents were there. The doggie daycare really opened my eyes and it was a fantastic business BUT trying to keep 25 dogs all in control at once is too much to handle for me.
Sorry about the lack luster post, better then nothing at all I suppose. Have a great Thursday!
Also my favorite pleco "Manny" has gone missing and I am baffled as to where he could be. I looked behind the aquarium fearing the worst, not there, I looked IN both filters, not there, I looked in every cave (maybe is is guarding more eggs) nope, not there. So then I thought maybe I moved him to another aquarium to give him a break from his daddy duties, but I can not find him anywhere. Which actually adds to my depression. I know he is just a fish but he was my favorite fish, all adorable and stout and bristle nosed. Speaking of plecos, the babies are doing fabulously and are growing every day. I am aiming to get my fish tubs up and going by the middle of may.
I am so behind on everything, and the depression is just making it worse. My garden in non-existant, my fish tubs still are MIA, the house is a disaster, ick. If i had health insurance this would be the point in time where I go in and get anti depressants to help me get through this slump. I don't though, so I will just keep muddling on.
I took some pictures of the fish (or tried) my camera still is not working well at all, so I am rather disappointed with the quality of them (I HATE THINGS OUT OF FOCUS.) I need a new camera with manual focus, yes need is the absolute correct word.
I want to be well on my way to a career by 30, I want to not have to struggle so much, have my own place, enjoy my life, just easy things like that. What I really would like to do is be a pet photographer, and there can be money in that field, but there can be money in any field. I make money off my fish, but it wont keep me fed. I have two friends who are photographers who say go for it, but they have not seen my photographs *laughs* I think even doing image retouching would make me fairly happy if I had some one to teach me. Point being I need a career where I can still have the freedom to make my own schedule.
Being how I am some days I need 12 hours of sleep (ug. does that make me sound lazy, I swear to you I am not!) and other days I can work for 15 hours straight, it just depends on... I'm not sure what, but on something I obviously can't control. Working with animals is exhausting, but I love it. I didn't really love working at the dog daycare, I worked at, I loved the daycare aspect of it, especially walking dogs, that was the best therapy I could have ever asked for, but I hated the part where I needed to clean with horrible chemicals and bust my butt to try to keep up because I was old.
I think in general I want to work with animals, I would happily be a dog walker, pet photographer, pet sitter, dog groomer. I would be open to the idea of training too, but not in a class setting, it would have to be one on one unless the doggy parents were there. The doggie daycare really opened my eyes and it was a fantastic business BUT trying to keep 25 dogs all in control at once is too much to handle for me.
Sorry about the lack luster post, better then nothing at all I suppose. Have a great Thursday!
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